courage, decision making, single mom, single moms, courage, family, Uncategorized, working moms

Throw Some Shade On It

One thing to keep in mind when gardening, is the seasons. Different seasons can have different effects on plants.  Its summer time and this year, the heat has been brutal, and it can be detrimental to some plants. With the soaring temperatures, gardeners must take special care with flowers and plants.

One of the common effects of extreme heat on plants is heat stress. Heat stress of a plant will show itself by wilting, which is a sure sign that water loss has taken place. If this is ignored, the condition will worsen, as the plants will eventually dry up, turning a crunchy brown before dying. How do we protect them from heat stress? You can start by watering them correctly. Watering them early morning and evening and not overwatering is best. Plants releases moisture to protect themselves in excessive heat. Wilted plants will bounce back in the evening. Wilting protects plants because there is less surface area for sun exposure. Next, apply mulch to help insulate the plants roots in hot weather, make sure to lay it on thick.  During extreme heat, plants will cease flowering and can get sunburned. Throw some shade on them. You can use a patio umbrella for a small area or a lightweight piece of fabric (like a flat bed sheet) stretched over a trellis to shade sections of your garden.  Remember that some plants tolerate heat better than others, so know your plants. When it comes to planting, a little preparation can go a long way in determining whether a plant thrives or fails in the summer heat.

Yes, single moms, its summer time. Kids are out of school, the suns out and it’s a time to get out and enjoy it. But, like the plant make sure you and your family are well protected.  Don’t forget the sunblock, hats, long sleeves, glasses, umbrellas, whatever it takes to protect yourself and shade yourself from the dangers of the sun.

Well, today I was out and about, and some young ladies were talking about “Throwing shade.” Well, me and my naivety thought it had to do with summertime, gardening or fashion. As I listened, I learned what it really meant. That lead me to this blog.

Single moms, like the plants, some of you look for protection from being burnt by “throwing shade” on people who you believe to have wronged you. In my profession, I have heard a lot of single moms “throw shade” on their child(rens) father to anybody who would listen. This can be done to gain notoriety, comradery, sympathy, and/or throw a pity party where other angry, unhappy, unforgiving single moms can chime in. (did I say that out loud?)  Throwing shade is way of protecting the heart from further hurt, but does that really make you feel better?

What really gets me though, is when you “throw shade” about the child(rens) father, to them. Trash talking about the father to the child can be very detrimental to your child(rens) relationship with their father and in the end, could jeopardize your relationship with them as well.  I never spoke negative “threw shade” to my children about about their father. I always believed that when they were old enough, they would find out for themselves and that proved to be true. I knew for me to move on with my life, I had to forgive the other person to maintain a parenting relationship for the interest of my children. Yes, I had to be the bigger person. Yes, I had to listen to the stories about me when my children came home, but that’s another blog. If there was anything Bad to be said about the way I felt about their father, it was in my head, in a journal or behind closed doors.

Single moms, don’t let the heat stress of a parent-parent relationship cause your life to wither, dry up and die.  Plant the seeds of forgiveness, nuture them, cultivate the courage to move on and maintain the best possible relationship with the other parent as possible for the sake of your child(ren). The next time you think about “throwing shade” get dressed, put on your sunblock, throw on your shades and go outside for a walk to clear your head or just have some fun.  Live your life and THRIVE!


garden pic costco
Plant a seed and watch it grow

1 thought on “Throw Some Shade On It”

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